so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
