you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
