Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
