OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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