As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
