I want to have your abortion
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
