Farmville is her only friend.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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