Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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