I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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