After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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