you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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