David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I just forgot I was standing up.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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