South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
