You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
her vagine was all disorganized.
We got so high we made milksteak
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
