YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
