somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
