Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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