Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
