There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
either way he was missing a nipple.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
