Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
