biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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