they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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