To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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