he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
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