Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
