Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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