super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
