I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
