I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Who died my cat blue again?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
