They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
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