Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I just want to make out with him forever
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
