If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
