So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
