lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
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