Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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