i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
