4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
