is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
