I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
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Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
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I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
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