Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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