hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize