Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize