We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
