How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
