i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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