I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
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it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
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It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize