To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
