My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Your cock deserves a montage
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize