i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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