I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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