i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
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Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
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I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
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