Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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