They should really pass out barf bags in church
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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