I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
