I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
