stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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