Well apparently he's into motor boating.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Liz is crying about burritos again.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
