I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
