i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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