I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Pants are for mortals
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
