Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
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