whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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