i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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