I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
