we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
