Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
